What? That title makes no sense what so ever.

If you are the CEO, you are the ruler of the roost, the king of the castle.  You lead with an iron fist and the people beckon to your every demand.

And then…like awakening from a pleasant dream, reality sets in.

You are the CEO, you are accountable for everything and everyone tied to your organization.  The shareholders and the stakeholders.  The employees, the customers, the value chain, the community and of course the families of all of the above.

Sure everyone works for you, but really you work for everyone.

Setting the vision to please the board, then finding and appointing leaders to execute.  Trusting that these leaders know how to breakdown the vision into bite size achievable strategic objectives and they are able to see them to completion.

Your focus is constantly on the vision, no (erm) I mean the strategy, no (ehem) I mean the execution, no I mean, well, it is on everything.

The public image of the company of course is on your shoulders right? In fact I believe a few people are depending on Rupert Murdoch right now to keep their job.

However, you are responsible for organizational trust and driving the culture.  After all it is your ship to sail right?

As you rapidly ascend the corporate (or small biz) ladder with visions of grandeur and a belief that as CEO you are in control, I suggest you ask yourself these questions.

Who is more dependent, you, or your people?

Let’s get something straight, you are CEO for a reason (hopefully) and the fruits of your labor are bountiful but do not for a moment forget that the CEO does not demand performance rather they earn it; and it is earned by knowing your role which is showing up everyday and working for “the people”

So Mr./Ms./Mrs. CEO – Who do you work for?

Fail Gracefully to Achieve Self Awareness

It’s a challenge to quantify the self-described leadership pundits who claim to offer “quick fix” advice to aspiring leaders in the form of books, blogs, speaking engagements, and seminars.

Their answer to great leadership is often: “Open the box. Add boiling water. Voila! Instant Excellence!”

But excellence isn’t instant. It cannot be so easily defined and, certainly, not so easily ascertained because leadership is a complex recipe involving diverse ingredients.

In previous posts, I have touched upon the Four Intangibles of Successful Leadership:

• Honesty – Tell and live by the truth
• Humility – Be truly humble within yourself and toward others
• Empathy – Seek first to understand and respect others’ reality
• Integrity – Consistently do the right thing, at all times, in all situations

I believe that a lack of any of the above doesn’t eliminate the ability to lead but rather lessens the ability to lead brilliantly.

To achieve the intangibles, you get no magic box nor bean and certainly no bean stalk; you are not given a treasure map. The secret to attaining these absolute and critical intangible qualities resides in “Self Awareness”.

What is it?

Most people don’t recognize their deficiencies because they are not actually self aware.  Becoming more self aware can happen in many ways and I contend that the most common path for people to gain self-awareness is to fail graciously.

Failing gracefully is the act of maximizing the learning opportunity associated with each and every failure that one experiences. It is to reach inside of an unsuccessful attempt and find the moral, the lessons, and the virtues that the event has provided and to apply that to future opportunities.

I’m the Problem and The Solution

Hubris cripples humility; foregoing the former can seem an unconquerable foe. To the hubristic, humility is a four letter word; the probability of giving credit, where due, can be a painful prospect. How do I know? I struggled with this and, at times, still do. However, I have no doubt that achieving greater humility improves my ability to lead.

I became appreciably more humble upon failing several times in my career due to excessive arrogance; in one circumstance, it nearly cost me my job.  In another, it cost me a promotion.  After a number of missed opportunities, I gained the  awareness that I was the problem and that I held the solution.

The Issue of Control

The acknowledgement of my hubris came only through failing gracefully.  The decision to alter my perspective came to me because I began to understand the importance of control.  To self actualize and achieve the intangible leadership qualities, one must first recognize that one DOES control one’s situation. I contend that, inherently, most people don’t really change. I do believe, however, that the only way to achieve deep and sustainable improvement is through genuine incorporation of the Four Intangibles.

What it all Means

There is no absolute, formulaic solution to great leadership; there isn’t one book in the world that can accurately represent the entire concept.  Leadership is a process. There is no alpha and no omega.  Great leadership is achieved through continuous learning, application, and enlightenment.  Only when you appreciate, understand, and genuinely dedicate yourself to applying the Four Intangibles will you achieve the next level of leadership.

But first….you must fail gracefully.

Welcome back everyone!  We have arrived – 4/4 – the finale – the last of the 4 intangibles of Successful Leadership.

First, a quick refresher of the first 3 intangibles along with a summary (in 8 words or less).

1. Humility – Fail with grace (Do you?)
2. Honesty – Always be truthful – and diplomatic (This is tricky)
3. Empathy – Aspire to understand others (Genuinely)

With these three things behind us, what rounds all of these off like a fine full bodied red wine with a perfectly prepared 12oz Filet Mignon?

Integrity.

Yep, that is it, the 4th and final intangible of successful leadership can be achieved by performing your responsibilities as a leader with unwavering integrity.

By one definition, Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes.

Let’s look at the pieces above and throw some questions out there to further explore why each piece of integrity is so critical.

Consistency of Actions – Is your behavior something to model after? Do you do and say the same thing?

Consistency of Values – Are your values well understood? Do you waiver on tough subjects? Can you be counted on to act out of eyesight the same as when you are being watched?

Consistency of Methods – How do you lead? Do you treat people the same? Do you play favorites? How do you approach adversity vs. prosperity?

Consistency of Principles – One question, Do you do the right thing when no one is looking?

Consistency of Expectations – I’m adamant about this one.  Expectations must be clearly understood.  Do you do this? Do your teams know what is expected from them and how they will be evaluated on this?

Consistency of Outcomes – The proof is in the pudding.  What are your results?

To truly be a “High Integrity” leader, the questions above must be asked and answered correctly. Then they must become part of your inner leadership, to be in your everyday routine, and they must be implanted in your soul where the core of leadership lies.

In a minute, can you become a great leader? I would say no, but the intangibles we have discussed over the past several weeks.  Those I say with confidence are the key.  Better yet…

It only takes 4.  That is it.  Great education, aptitude, and acumen can only be fully realized if they coupled with these intangibles.  These 4 however, are not achievable just by talking about them.  They take discipline and a commitment to excellence.  However, if you do the work to realize them all, the payoff is well worth the effort.

So when do we start? Like every other worthwhile endeavor – “Fire when ready.” I assure you will be glad that you did.

Over the first two weeks we covered Humility and Honesty.  Both critical to understanding and more importantly succeeding in leadership.

Profoundly (perhaps conveniently) in the statement above I use the word “Understanding,” a word that serves as the core component of the third intangible, EMPATHY.

By definition, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.  To me, this is so important to leadership that failure is eminent without it.

Being understood is not only a need for people in their professional life, it is one of the basic needs for health and wellness. Numerous studies have been published, even in the New England Journal of Medicine, that show the act of empathy by health care practitioners actually improves patient outcomes.  Meaning patients show a greater rate of improvement and recovery when they feel their Doctor takes a genuine interest in their needs. (Bedside manner sounds a bit more important now?)

Let’s translate this back to business and leadership.  How does empathy effect the relationships we deal with in our daily grind…

As an employee – The happiest and most successful employees work for companies where beyond their direct compensation they feel they are understood, their work respected, and they have more than a job. All of which require empathy.

As a manager – When you are trying to motivate performance and drive tasks, influence is earned through your character and competence.  Your team responds to you because you have the know how, but more importantly they listen because they believe you care. A belief that is rooted in empathy.

As an executive – Driving the vision, mission, and long term execution for a company takes courage, intelligence, and perhaps most importantly organizational support. While your all of those aforementioned traits drive results, few executives will claim they can do it alone.  That required support will stabilize and grow when your team feels appreciated and understood by an empathetic leader.

As a customer – Think about your own buying experiences. Especially purchases that are not necessities.  When you have a choice, you almost always choose to buy from people you like.  What is it that you like about them? I would submit that often times it is you like that they appear to care about your needs.  That understanding – empathy at its finest.

All boiling down to…

As a human being – Whether employee, manager, executive, or customer, the bottom line is we as people want to be understood.  Not only in our careers, but in our lives.  Our careers being a section of our larger being, we take that section and apply it across everything we do.

Great leaders know that EMPATHY is a requirement of their success, and that is why it is the third of four intangibles great leaders must possess.

Amidst a firestorm, a friend and colleague of mine by the name of Erik Sover said to me, “You can’t teach give a shi*.

What a funny quip, I remember thinking to myself.  Then wondering if this bold statement could be true.  How could the world be so perverse that you can’t teach someone to care? In reality, the real question we should ask ourselves is can you teach someone to care about what you care about?  I would contend that the answer is no if their reason for caring is strictly for your benefit.

Problem Surfacing: If you are a leader or business owner this may be the genesis of a tremendous quagmire.  If your people don’t care about the same things you do, are they going to represent your company, brand, product, service, etc the way they need to be to drive maximum success?

The answer is NO!

This begs a question? Why should the employees care about what you do.  At the root of this question lies your answer.

First, managers are notorious for driving tasks and failing to relate.  “You need to do this because that is how I want it done” or “If you like your job you will do it this way.” Both hollow threats or catalysts for a revolving door.

Second, they shouldn’t. But, they do care about their success which in summation of all the supporting cast equals the organizations success. So how do we unleash their inner desire to care?

Leadership is the key to this riddle.  If I were a leader, how would I help my teams to genuinely care about the vision of the company? To deliver at the highest level every time? To make sure our customers are satisfied beyond their expectations?

I parallel it to your childhood, why did you do what you were told? Probably because you feared the consequences, not because you agreed with what you were told.  Did it motivate you in any way?

Quote Office Space “It only makes me do just enough not to get fired,” or grounded as a child.

In short, there are 2 major considerations here that both warrant lengthy discussions (most to be had at a later time)

1. Motivation – No matter how much you wish they would be, people aren’t motivated to make you successful.  They are sometimes motivated by money, power, prestige, or survival (and other ways too).  So if you think they are going to do you a favor to be nice, I would think again. (If you believe that, you probably are way over your head)

2. Power – It is critical that leaders understand that the most influential power does not come from your title, reward, or coerciveness.  It really comes from your know how, and your track record.  We will call that Knowledge and Referent Power.  In short, you cannot lead people consistently by crossing your arms, paying them more, or scaring them.  People will respond to you out of respect for your accomplishments, your passion, and your track record for success

So can you teach Give a Shi*?

The answer is yes, but you can’t teach it for the reason’s that you may give a (sh)it.

Leaders…Know that!

I heard a maxim once before. “You think you see through others so well, what makes you think they can’t see through you?”

To this I suggest… Half truths, are also half lies, and worse yet, being disingenuous is lying to yourself.

As a proponent and student of leadership, I have found that people want to engage with others that they see as honest. Further coming to find that honesty may be more critical than any of the other four intangibles. (Humility, Honesty, Integrity, Empathy)

In business we naturally gravitate toward meaningful partnerships and relationships with those that we can trust.  As we all know, trust can take a long time to build and it can be destroyed in moments.

At times in leadership positions, we may become aware of difficult situations in our businesses and it is instinctive to be dishonest.  Sometimes it may seem like the right thing to do.  The downside to that decision is if/when the truth is unveiled, regardless of the reason for your dishonesty, you still lied!

My approach to these situations is to be perfectly honest and brief.  It isn’t a lie or a half truth to say…

• I’d prefer not to discuss this right now
• I will provide you with the details that I can when I know more
• Unfortunately, this is a personal matter

This seems logical right? It does to me too, maybe even simple, yet so many choose to lie and deceive anyway.  Why do that?

Bottom line: Don’t (I don’t see further explanation required, email me if you need more here)

In the foundation and continuation of your professional (and personal for that matter) relationships.  Make it a focus to be honest with those around you.  As Stephen M.R. Covey says in his book Speed of Trust, (Excellent Read) “building meaningful trust is based on two things, character and competence.”

If you are dishonest, or even if people see you that way, (being disingenuous) it will be almost impossible to gain that ever so important trust.

Simply put, without trust, you can never successfully lead.  Honesty will put you on the road to trust, and the expressway to great leadership.

Each week the subject matter will change, and these minutes will cover the content on a very high level. Perhaps serving as an intro/idea to a future blog. Over the first four weeks, we are going to cover what I refer to as the 4 intangibles of successful leadership.

In the first edition of “The Leadership Minute,” we will dive into the first intangible…HUMILITY

First, let’s take a quick look at a simple yet effective definition of humility -> Humility is the quality or condition of being humble; a modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.

Why is it so important in leadership?

In the real world, the evaluation of leadership is often measured entirely by the outcome. Those who net successful results are deemed as great leaders, and those that are less successful fall somewhere else in the spectrum.

What is often left unsaid, is the process by which the successful leader achieved greatness? How many times did that person strike out, fail, fall short, or run into major road blocks in their individual road to great leadership? The continued effort to perform by that leader is reflective of their perseverance, which is often found in successful leaders. However, most great leaders have endured some horrific failures, and they were humbled by those failures. It was this helped them to become stronger leaders and to better appreciate their ultimate success.

There is no question that some people of great arrogance and/or inflated self image are able to achieve individual success (By their own measure of success of course). This is often seen in pro sports (Terrell Owens, Jay Cutler), hollywood (Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen), business (Top Sales, Engineers, Inventors), and social communities (Think about the nosey neighbor that knows everything about everyone). When you consider the above examples, these personality types destroy franchises, shows, sales teams, businesses, families, and communities with their self serving antics.

As a leader of others, arrogance needs to be replaced with humility. Being humble does not mean that you cannot have self confidence or be acutely aware of your strengths. People who are humble often are very cognizant of their contribution and value, but they don’t feel the need to put themselves ahead of the goal of the team. That very belief is why humility is one key to great leadership.

Are you a Humble Leader?  Thoughts, Tips, and Tricks:

• Do you constantly feel the need to take credit for your contribution? Try to avoid this behavior, credit given always supersedes credit taken
• Are you willing to take ownership of your mistakes and learn from them? Great leaders tend to embrace their mistakes as to not repeat them and to improve future performance.
• Do you recognize whether you are perceived as arrogant? Sometimes, a lack of self awareness can be the difference with an intangible such as humility.  You may believe you are humble and others think you are arrogant.  Perhaps speak with someone you trust and ask their feedback on this.

There are a plethora of degrees, certificates, specializations, seminars and other educational means available to learners today. Often times, they are meant to serve as the next check mark in their road to prosperity. I challenge you to ask yourself what they really mean? An advanced college degree like an MBA or a Masters in Organizational Leadership must be the answer right? If not, perhaps a certification from a prestigious institution like Wharton or Booth where you can hear others tell you about leadership alas learning all you need to know in a week or even in a few days.  At the very least a weekend seminar from Steven Covey or Tony Robbins or another renowned leadership pundit will cure any holes in your arsenal.

Of course, if the above options find themselves too intrusive, expensive, or don’t fit into the plan, there are always the self improvement books that are out there,  proclaiming the perfect blueprint for leadership prosperity.  Above mentioned authors Steven Covey and Tony Robbins. Both have written lots of great rhetoric on leadership.  Jack Welch (Former GE CEO), Steve Jobs, and Herb Kelleher (Former CEO of Southwest) all have books that tell their story (In quite a compelling fashion if I may say) of leadership and how they made their companies rise like the tide throughout times or success and riches as well as during times of bitter economic turmoil.

Having done an Executive MBA, and having attended more than just a few seminars, I can say first hand, a lot of great information can be learned through formalized study.  Pairing the formal education with a book shelf holding countless books on leadership, management, success, and other business topics, it is safe to say I have read a lot of books about the subject.  Eerily, I find many of them to be very similar, and at times they begin to almost read as one continuous novel of regurgitated facts and opinion.

So with all of the tools out there, leadership must be attainable for anyone willing to put in the work.  Read the books, go to school, perhaps land yourself a great mentor and you will be fine.  Well, I’m not here to debate where leaders actually come from, but what I do want to share today is as follows.

With all of the great programs on leadership offered in schools, written in books, and evangelized by speakers, some of my greatest leadership lessons have come from life.  Here are five lessons in leadership that I would love to share with you.

1. Great leaders don’t always do the right thing even when people are looking: Part of being a leader is being human.  While we expect those that lead us in our day to day life (Boss, Community Leaders) as well as those on a larger scale ( Fortune CEO’s and World Leaders) we have to realize that these people suffer from the same human condition as you and I.  Mistakes will be made, by everyone, the sooner you realize that and the sooner you figure out learning from them is the key.  The better leader you will become
2. Leadership is very hard, even if it is innate: It doesn’t matter if you have been a leader from birth or were promoted for the first time yesterday.  Leading others or leading ideas are both very hard.  You may some day read that somewhere, but however hard they tell you it is, multiply it by a large number, square it, and raise it to the nth power.  Okay, perhaps an exaggeration, but not by much.  As a continuation of number one, you need to immediately realize that anytime you are dealing with other human beings, things will not be easy.  When you become responsible for others in a leadership roll,  at times it can be near impossible.  However, let me be the first (Or insert actual number here) to say that when you connect and lead even a few successfully it is incredibly rewarding.
3. You will never be able to lead everyone: I have yet to come across more than a few humble (and quite successful) leaders that will admit they have struggled to lead certain people or personality types.  This one is actually quite simple.  You will find throughout your personal and professional life that you cannot connect and lead everyone in every group.  This is where putting others on your team and surrounding yourself with great people is the key to success.  If you find that you are a big picture leader, you may very well struggle with highly technical types that are very invested in the details.  Guess what? Not a big deal, you just need to find someone that can empathize with that audience, but understands your passion, and then delegate.
4. Your leadership style has to be you: Nobody likes a phony. Check that, no one that I associate with likes or enjoys the company of a phony.  And guess what, people don’t follow others that they perceive as fake.  Genuineness is immeasurably key to successful leadership.  While trust from your team, co-workers, boss, friends, and family is almost always built a bit differently, it is almost uniformly destroyed in an instance when people don’t trust you. Focus on being real, being you, and leading people naturally from within.  While it may sound a bit cliche, it isn’t.  If you try to be someone you’re not or emulate something you’re not, people will take notice.  When they do, it is often the end of any respect you have earned and that is a death sentence to an aspiring leader.
5. The real world doesn’t value your education as much as you do: Formal education is a great thing.  As I mentioned above, it provides a lot of great insight and keeps the mind fresh.  It often gives you an opportunity to better understand concepts and why they are important.  What education doesn’t do is build you a reputation of success as a leader or much else for that matter.  Unless of course your goal is to be an educator.  Being a professor myself, I still feel the students are more interested in what I have accomplished outside of school than what I have done in the classroom.  (The sad thing is, I had to get the MBA to teach, but 99% of the value I bring is from what I do in the real world)  Bottom line is, school is nice, but the real world will judge you on what you accomplish in your respective field.  Whether that is medical or being a wonderful parent.  Further, you can read all of the Chicken Soup books and still be a bad parent/friend/spouse/neighbor.

While some of these things may come as a surprise to you, others may not.  For me, the items above were all things that at the very least stopped me in my tracks momentarily.  In academia, at times, the bubble surrounds and protects you in a way that you believe that the world may actually operate the way it does on campus.  In the books, everything sounds so clear cut and easy;  All you have to do are these 3 things and everyone will be mesmerized by your every word and you will become an instant peer to your industries greatest leaders.  Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way.  The books and the school is meant to provide you context.  If you use it that way, it can be a great support tool as you adapt to your surroundings.  I certainly recommend it as a stepping stone in self development and would never advise anyone against continued learning.  What the formal education is not; it is not a road map for successful leadership.  That kind of leadership has to start with you, your values, your knowledge, and all the other intangibles.  All together and aligned in perfect harmony, that my friends creates great leadership.